Monday, June 29, 2015

I {3 OU

Never thought I'd say it, but boy do I miss hashgachot. Shopping off a list - even an electronic list - is horrendous.
Forget the amount of extra time it takes. Ignore the stares of the people waiting behind you in the skinny aisles while you balance your phone in one hand and your mostly empty shopping cart in the other. And pay no attention to the brain freeze that sets in when you're trying to calculate currency conversion while simultaneously guessing which brand has the most kosher sounding name (which, for the record, is not a meaningful indicator).
Shopping off the list saps your will to eat.
When you decide "I want crackers", and you search one brand of crackers, then a second brand of crackers, then a third brand of crackers, coming up empty each time, you then think "Do I really want crackers? I don't really need crackers. Forget crackers." and move on to the next food item.
After you do this for 15 food items, and the only thing in your cart is bananas that are five times as expensive as they are at home because the minimum wage here is AUS$16.87/hour, you curse loudly, throw a bottle of water, a tin of chewing tobacco and a home decor magazine into your basket and storm out of there muttering "I'll eat AIR! OVERPRICED BANANAS and AIR!" under your breath.
God bless hashgachot in all of their greed, hypocrisy and illogic. I wouldn't want it any other way.

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